The Cult of Defeatism

Out of all the bizarre trends that we as a generation seem to be following lately, one of the strangest has to be the fad of defeatism. This newfound love of self-loathing and lack of desire to better oneself leaves me scratching my head as I struggle to understand the thought processes of my peers. On one hand I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised at this fad. We are constantly bombarded with how we're the unhappiest generation -- how we're the most depressed, the most likely to commit suicide, the least likely to be employed, the least likely to be happily married, etc. Most of these statistics, if true, are troubling to say the least. The media seems intent on portraying my generation, the Millennials, as simply lost. We're beyond lost even, in that we're accepting of our loss and perfectly willing to continue down our rabbit holes to our uncertain futures. I'm not quite convinced of the truth of such statements and how they're repeated ad nauseam wherever one looks. Unfortunately many of us seem to believe this fad and are perfectly content with it. I worry about the normalization of such struggles and what seems to be a growing trend towards the beautification of such thoughts.

It's always been said that the first step to fixing a psychological or mental issue is admitting one actually has an issue. I have to wonder if that's the truth in today's world, since so many people seem willing to say, "Why yes, I'm broken. I'm damaged. I have issues..." but then make no effort to change their damaging thoughts or behaviors. Brokenness is now worn as a type of badge. We all know people, mental hypochondriacs of sorts, who seem to collect problems because they desperately crave attention or never received love as a child. But how many more of us go about our daily lives and define ourselves by some particular problem we face?

My generation can balk at the psychologists that point out that we seem to be stuck in an arrested development where we never quite emotionally mature into an adult. Paradoxically, we seem to willfully arrest our own development by refusing to truly "grow up". Multiple times a day across the internet young people in their 20s-30s crack jokes about their lack of maturity. "Haha, am I adulting now? How do I into taxes? Being an adult sure is hard, amirite fellas?" and so on. I won't mince words here -- I find this beyond cringe worthy. I fail to understand this desire to showboat ignorance and childishness and all it really seems to be is some twisted tribalistic signaling to our fellow men. Instead of signaling our worth or importance, our MVP status, we seem to be striving for the role of being on the bottom rung, the Least Valuable Player. It's a senseless and self-damaging game, so why play it?

Maybe I'm not in the right mindset to understand this phenomenon. Who knows, maybe I'm too privileged to understand it, being a hetero white male and all. But I've seen all types display pride in their LVP status, whether it's rather normal folks flagellating themselves on social media and the real world for their peers or NEETs gathering together and crying about ">tfw when no gf" in the little deplorable corners of the internet. This twisted signaling seems to pervade our society across social statuses and groups, maybe even generations.

So why don't people just get up and do something about their lives?

Do note that I'm not pointing out those that genuinely understand that they may have some personal issues and are actively seeking to do something about their mental health or whatever problems they may be facing. I applaud those that go beyond simply recognizing they have problems and actually set about doing something about it. Many of these people also don't seem to proudly wear their insecurities or inability to function in society as a badge of dishonor, so extra points for that as well.

But I fear that most people my age have hit such a low emotional state that they simply see themselves as unable to lift themselves out of their self-defeatism. Beyond that, there's a very perceivable lack of desire to even try to better themselves. There's no desire for self-betterment simply because people aren't seeing any problems with having problems! It has become normalized in society - accepted and desired - to simply define yourself by your struggles.

Much blame could probably be placed at the championing of minority struggles; where various fringe groups in society are elevated to higher perceived status simply because they belong to some outlier group. In response, many purposely segregate themselves off into a minority group solely for the social status bump that they believe will come from it. It's a growing trend I find awful for reasons beyond the normalization of defeatism. There is the little matter of how the people who actually belong to the minority groups feel after all. It's little wonder that we see growing cries of "co-opting" from outsiders coming in to various groups. Add in the growing desire for further splitting off into minority statuses for ever higher social privilege and we reach a point where minority groups are practically being invented daily. Not to mention the rather obvious "-isms" that come with people considering minorities worse off than them simply for being minorities and therefore trying to elevate them or assimilate them. Can that even be considered egalitarian at that point?

This sort of bizarre class struggle, where class has simply become one's race, ethnicity, orientation, mental health problem, etc. seems to be part of much of the western world by now. But the self-defeatism that comes along with elevating the struggles themselves to a desired status seems to have grown into its own beast and has permeated every level of society beyond any class warfare. How many people do each of us know who introduce themselves with details of their depression or self-destructive behavior? Just think of how many people sprinkle through their daily conversations with how hard it is to be single/to be in a relationship or whatever other nonsense they deem important enough to share. Beyond that, how many people love signaling that they prioritize spending money on worthless pursuits such as media merchandise, video games or sports memorabilia? "Ahaha yeah, can't pay bills but just bought a new game that launched this week!" Forget knowing these people, most of us probably are these people.

So what happened? What destroyed our self-confidence? Surely the world isn't so bad that all of us collectively just decided to check out and pursue our own self-interests to such destructive ends. Perhaps it has and my boundless naiveté keeps me from seeing just how screwed we all are. I can understand that depression rates are higher than ever for men and women in the west, that more of us aren't marrying or even seeking relationships and fewer of us are able to hold off jobs. But I have some hope and confidence that things aren't as bad as the media paints the picture to be and that things can get better. If this is truly the low point for western civilization, then surely the only way out is up. Unless we truly do just want to snuff out the candle altogether.

There's no point in the self-defeatism folks. Take it from someone who wallowed in it for too long. Self-confidence, discipline and responsibilities aren't sins for us to shun. Instead of spending our days playing video games or posting in the always-tempting >tfw no gf threads, we can work on self-betterment. Get fit, get jobs, stop destructive habits, etc. You've all heard it before. Just start doing it this time, if for no other reason than making yourself better than you are now.